Tips May 15, 2022 18:59

Sorry this isn’t a question about a papa, but do men really not mind if the woman they like sleeps around a lot? A friend with benefits who is a senior from college moved far away by bullet train for his first job after graduation. But even on ordinary weekends when he isn’t working, not just during long holidays, he comes back to see me. If I refuse to meet him, he says, “I know I might be being selfish, but I really want to see you.” There are many other things he does and says that make me think he absolutely likes me.

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Even when I ignore his LINE messages for three months or reply coldly, he keeps sending me random messages from time to time. And even after finding out that I’m sleeping with other men, all he says is, “It’s okay.” I think I sleep around quite a lot and have a lot of qualities that make me a terrible person, but he says he thinks I’m a kind-hearted girl. One papa told me, “She’s probably emotionally unstable, so you need to cut things off properly or it could be dangerous. Whether you have a boyfriend or not, she’ll keep interacting with you regardless.” I’m sure he likes me, but when you love someone, can you really forgive them no matter how awful they are?
👤 Asked by Guest 👩GenderFemale 🎂 Not stated 👑 Universe female member
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7 answers

It’s pretty clear that you’re the one being used for your friend-with-benefits’ convenience, yet he’s also making you carry the guilt of thinking, “Is it really okay for me to be with someone when I’m such a loser?” I’d say he’s one step ahead of you. He probably doesn’t actually like you. He’s just being kind because he wants to keep things at the current distance and continue using you when it suits him.
(3 replies left)
I’m scared I might turn into a stalker :(
(3 replies left)
シアトル
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
He’s being persistent because he thinks he can get it for free. Make him pay.
(3 replies left)
カズ
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
The relationship is friends-with-benefits, right? If so, I don’t think I’d mind. Isn’t that just how friends-with-benefits relationships work? I think it’s perfectly normal to like someone as a friend with benefits. I also like the woman I’m seeing through compensated dating as my compensated-dating partner. If she had a friend with benefits, I might find it interesting, but I wouldn’t be upset.
(3 replies left)
Fuu
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
This is just my impression, but if he genuinely liked you, I think he’d ask you to be in a relationship. The fact that he says it’s okay for you to have sex with other men probably means he already sees you as a sex friend, and wants to satisfy his sexual needs with you as well. Even after being transferred, he still wants to meet and have sex with you. That suggests he thinks the sex with you is especially good. Since you’ll meet him and have sex with him for free when he asks, you’re probably his ideal sex friend. He’s likely just saying flattering things because he wants to keep seeing you. If you’re worried he might develop serious feelings—and you don’t want that—then I think you should stop meeting him and having sex with him.
(3 replies left)
だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
> I’m sure he likes me, but if you really like someone, can you forgive them no matter how awful they are? I don’t think any man would like a woman who’s truly awful, regardless of who he is. She seems to get around with men quite a bit, but I imagine she has other charms that outweigh that.
(3 replies left)
紙ひこうき
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中! B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです! 会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
If he were a complete jerk, you’d probably be able to write him off, but I don’t think that’s how you see him. No matter how he treats you, even if he ignores or blocks you, moves away, or disappears without a trace, I think there’s a good chance he’ll continue to have feelings for you. Some men don’t accept that it’s over, even when they receive an obvious “no” by LINE or know they’re disliked. I’ve actually encountered several cases where girls were stalked or ambushed by men like that outside their homes. There was also a case involving a senior and junior from university. If I remember correctly, the man had a very respectable, conventional job.
(3 replies left)