My next date will involve an adult relationship (intimate) with a man in his 50s who has body odor from aging…
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When we were heading home after eating together twice, this man forced a deep kiss on me (I told him, “Please save that kind of thing for a private room,” but his tongue still went into my mouth).
I don’t want an adult relationship (intimate) for the allowance he offered.
I have a feeling it’s going to turn into intense sex with a lot of deep kissing…
I’d like him to add another 10,000 yen. Is it okay to tell him honestly?
Also, I’d rather he stop deep-kissing me and just give me light kisses. Should I tell him beforehand, or is it better to say something when he tries to deep-kiss me?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
Was this a date you were offered through Universe Club? Not through an app?
Did you lower your partner’s rating? Did you report it to the staff? Anyone who follows the Q&A box would know they should report it, right?
Or was this someone from another club?
If you don’t like it, just say no. The next time things get intimate, they’ll probably force you to do it without protection even if you say you don’t want to. I’m sure they think that would make you happier.
Say no.
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Are you a Type B woman?
If so, I don’t understand what the point of that first date was.
Personally, I don’t think women who let themselves be swept along are suited to dating clubs.
“I didn’t want to, but he gave me a deep kiss.”
“I didn’t want to, but I ended up having an adult relationship for a low allowance.”
Next, it’ll be, “I didn’t want to, but he had unprotected sex with me and ejaculated inside me.”
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The moment you negotiate the amount, the papa’s impression of you will almost certainly worsen. If it were me, I wouldn’t even go to the hotel.
If you absolutely need the money, I’d skip the negotiation, go to the room, and when things started heading in that direction, say something like, “I prefer regular kissing,” to somehow avoid deep kissing…
That said, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t prostitution, so I think it’s better to set a rule for yourself that you’ll only have an adult relationship (intimate) with someone you genuinely like. That way, you’re less likely to end up traumatized.
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I think it’s best to be completely honest with him.
This may be prejudiced of me, but with someone like this, even if you agree on the terms this time, I feel like he’ll try to get his money’s worth in various ways—like pushing for a second round.
And even if negotiations break down, he seems like the type who might lose his temper and hurl verbal abuse at you in the end.
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Would increasing your allowance by 10,000 yen make you feel happy enough to enjoy your dates with him—not necessarily over the moon, but at least smiling and having a good time?
If so, it might be worth being honest with him. And if he senses that you don’t really like him and ends things, you can simply accept that it wasn’t meant to be.
I think papa-katsu can be enjoyable when you meet someone who makes you think, “I get to go on fun dates with such a wonderful person and even receive an allowance? How amazing!”
I hope you find a good match.
Marika
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No one can know the best approach except you, so watch your partner’s reactions carefully.
If you want to continue seeing them, bring it up tactfully. If you don’t really care and would be fine ending things, you can be more assertive.
Don’t push yourself. If you can’t tolerate it, you’re probably better off walking away and waiting for an offer from another papa (a male supporter).
I’ll admit, I don’t really understand being able to put up with someone’s smell just because the allowance goes up by 10,000 yen. If something smells, it smells, right…?
Personally, if there were that kind of odor, I don’t think I could tolerate it even for 10,000 yen less（笑）.
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I’m Takei, a staff member.
If you’re doing it reluctantly, I think continuing the arrangement will become difficult, and your feelings may come across to the other person as well. You might want to tell them your preferred terms and that you’re not particularly comfortable with deep kissing.
If it’s difficult to say it directly, you could always let them know by message.
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You need to discuss the allowance and the terms in advance until you’re comfortable with them. Just because you’ve met twice for dinner only (no intimacy) doesn’t mean you have to move on to an adult relationship (intimate). Things end up going badly when you move forward while leaving this point unclear.
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It depends on the person, but I think allowance negotiations should be straightforward.
That said, when you say, “Next time, we’ll have an adult relationship (intimate),” it sounds like you’ve already accepted the amount he offered, right? In that case, I think it’s even more important to tell him in advance that you’d like him to increase the allowance.
If he asks why, you could tell him that you didn’t like being pressured into deep kissing last time.
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From the wording, it sounds like you’re not particularly interested in continuing the relationship. If you’d like to decline under the current terms, I think it’s better to clearly communicate your own terms.
That way, the man can decide whether he still wants to continue under those terms or look for another woman, and then get back to you.
So, before meeting, you could send something like:
“I’d like to discuss the terms. Would it be possible to set the allowance at ¥60,000?”
(The amount is just an example—in reality, you’d ask for ¥10,000 more than what you discussed previously.)
This time, you have two requests, but I feel that one request would be more likely to be accepted. However, if you’re okay with ending things, you could also try saying:
“I’m not comfortable with deep kissing, so would it be possible to limit it to French kisses?”
Alternatively, you could initially ask for ¥20,000 more. If he says he could add only ¥10,000, you could offer an exchange:
“I’m not comfortable with deep kissing, so would French kisses be okay? If so, I’d be fine with adding ¥10,000.”
That might be another approach.
However, if you’ve already agreed on a certain amount, most men will probably want to know why the amount has increased. So I think it would be better to have a reason that he can accept.
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