I wasn’t sure whether this was the right place to ask, but I’d like some serious relationship advice—not advice about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

There’s a man I’ve been interested in for the past three years. He’s in his 40s, 18 years older than me, and divorced. We met through our university connection, and a dating club had absolutely nothing to do with it. When we first met, he pursued me very enthusiastically, but I wasn’t interested in that way, so he gradually faded out of my life. Once, he told me, “I just want to be with you. I won’t do anything—I just want to stay the night,” and we stayed together in a suite at the Aman Tokyo. (We really did nothing but talk the whole time. We slept in the same bed, but he didn’t make a move.) Over the past two months, whenever I’ve contacted him, he’s actively invited me out, saying, “Let’s go get dinner!” We’ve had dinner together twice. When we’re together, he says and does things that seem to indirectly suggest he has feelings for me, but he never actually says, “I like you” or “Let’s date.” 具体的には、 「会えて本当に嬉しいよ。連絡とれなかった間も、ずっと気にしてた。」 「○ちゃんに付き合おうって言われて断る男はいないと思う」 「もうこんな40代だし、20代の子と付き合っていいのかって迷ってしまうよね」 「再婚したいけど、バツイチだし、年が離れすぎてる子だと罪悪感がある」 というような話の振り方です笑 For example, he says things like: “I’m really happy to see you. I was worried about you the whole time we weren’t in touch.” “I don’t think any man would turn you down if you asked him out.” “I’m already in my 40s, so I can’t help wondering whether it’s okay for me to date someone in her 20s.” “I’d like to remarry, but I’m divorced, and I’d feel guilty dating someone so much younger than me.” That kind of thing, lol. He also holds my hand while we’re in a taxi, and sometimes presses his body against mine while saying, “I want to get a little closer.” However, when I’m in front of someone I like, I get embarrassed and end up acting cold even when he’s showing signs that he’s interested. When I send him a thank-you message afterward, he replies with things like, “I wish we could spend more time together.” When I finally worked up the courage to invite him out myself, he said, “I’m a little busy next week, so I’ll try to work something out.” When I replied, “I’d like to see you, but don’t push yourself if you’re busy,” he read the message and never responded. I’m sure he has feelings for me, and it doesn’t seem like he’s only interested in my body. I can’t tell whether he’ll actually rearrange his schedule and see me again. And I’m also incapable of responding naturally to the things he says that suggest he’s interested. I’ve been through all kinds of experiences in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and have gained a fair amount of experience, but when it comes to genuine romance, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Has he decided he’s not interested because he can’t tell how I feel about him, and does he no longer intend to see me? Am I really only able to wait for his reply right now? How should I move things forward from here? My first sexual experience was through compensated dating, and the only relationships I’ve ever had that could be called “boyfriends” were through being a mistress. I feel like it’s time to build a life alongside someone I truly love.