https:\/\/universe-club.jp\/help\/questions\/view\/7434
This is a follow-up question to that post.
Last time, I wrote it as a “follow-up report,” but it was deleted (https:\/\/universe-club.jp\/help\/questions\/view\/10126).
I may not look it, but I do take everyone’s opinions and impressions into account, and I’m asking this quite seriously. Maezawa-san, if possible, please don’t delete this one (sweat).
Since 10126 can’t be read, I’ll give you the gist: She contacted me for the first time in six months, and we went on a date and had an adult relationship (intimate). In our conversations afterward, she said, “I didn’t think it was right for us to just lose touch and part ways like that. I understand the situation in various ways, so I’ve been thinking that maybe December should be our endpoint.”
As for the money I gave her, she has kept it tucked away at the back of a dresser and keeps saying, “I want to return it.” I told her, “You can give it back when the time comes that you’re truly happy and feel you no longer need it. For now, just hold on to it. Even if you have no use for it at the moment, you can make use of it if you ever find yourself really in need.”
Incidentally, this girl once found ¥20,000 lying naked in the hallway of a love hotel. She said, “Oh? Did I drop this?” and picked it up, but after returning to the room, she checked her wallet and said, “It doesn’t seem to be mine, so I should take it to the front desk,” which she did. She’s the type who won’t put money in her wallet if it doesn’t feel rightfully hers. Personally, I wouldn’t have turned it in. What would you all do?
So I’m guessing I’ll contact her once or twice more myself during December, meet up, and have an adult relationship (intimate), and then stop contacting her again from January onward—finally bringing things to an end. But the thought of having to go through that agonizing period of separation again is already painful. Last time, I was the one who caused her this pain, but this time, does it feel like she’s the one causing it to me?
I also have a bad feeling that once January comes, I may end up contacting her myself again. Could you all give me some words of advice to keep me from doing that? This is my actual question. What to do about the ¥20,000 is not the question.
I intend to take your words to heart, so thank you in advance. m(_ _)m
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer as well.
I don’t remember deleting 10126, but I get the feeling I deleted it because I thought it wasn’t really a question. I’m sorry.
> I have a bad feeling that, after January, I may end up contacting her myself before I know it.
In that case, why not retract the “graduation” idea? (My thinking is that a woman should decide for herself when to get married—she’s not a child.) Since you may contact her after January, change it now to: “When that happens, please meet with me.”
As for the 10 million yen she wants to return (was that the amount?), you could treat it as an advance on her allowance—10 months’ worth at 1 million yen per month.
You could make an agreement to continue seeing each other for those 10 months without giving her any further allowance. I think that would make sense to her as well.
From the 11th month onward, you could simply resume giving her the allowance as before.
I can understand wanting to give her the money separately from her allowance, but if she’s uncomfortable with that, perhaps you could come up with a separate rationale for it.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Even if you give her 10 million yen, if she doesn’t use it, it’s no more than a paperweight.
I may have said this before, but while ¥20,000 feels tangible to a young woman, ¥10 million probably doesn’t feel like real money to her.
Only jaded papa-katsu girls say they want ¥10 million.
So what about converting the ¥10 million into something with high resale value and giving it to her as a gift?
That way, she might sell it and use the money when she’s genuinely in need.
As for contacting her after January, I don’t understand why you think you shouldn’t. If you like her, why not keep reaching out even if she says it’s time to move on?
This is a relationship between a man and a woman, so instead of worrying about looking cool, I think you should pursue it honestly and wholeheartedly.
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I’m a losing player among the male members.
I wonder if she simply doesn’t want to feel indebted.
So no matter how many times you tell her otherwise, I think she’ll keep saying, “I want to pay you back.”
On the other hand, Mack, you’re the kind of man who can’t take back money once you’ve given it, right? So how about saying:
“Once a man has given something, he can’t take it back. Especially me. You understand, right? If you really don’t want to accept it, donate it somewhere five years from now.”
I think she’ll probably just accept it as is.
Rather than telling her to donate it right away, it might be wiser to add a “put it off until later” option, like five years from now.
That bittersweet, heartbreak-like pain in your chest is something I actually envy. I can’t love a younger woman that deeply, you see…
I want to love someone. I want to fall in love. But I just can’t seem to truly love anyone. I can love someone halfway, but I’d like to fall for a woman so completely that I’d become a stalker.
So the pain you’re feeling from heartbreak, Mack, is a luxurious kind of pain. I’d like to experience it too. It’s wonderfully human.
Sometimes I even wonder, “Do I not have any feelings?” I can be kind to women, but I can’t love them.
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Some women hate being dumped, so for some reason they steer things toward being the one who ends it. I’ve experienced this many times. Why do they do that?
Even after getting dumped, they keep clinging on, asking to meet again and again—until they’re rejected. Then they feel relieved, take a drag of their cigarette, blow out the smoke, and say, “Okay. So, shall we move on to the next one?” Just like that, they’re able to switch gears.
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This is Mac.
Seattle, I like that way of thinking. I’ll go with that. At this point, I probably won’t even feel like meeting them anymore. Thank you.
It was 20,000 yen, but it’s fun imagining how it ended up in the hallway of a love hotel. Maybe someone dropped it in a hurry, or perhaps a couple got into a huge argument and the man threw it onto the floor, only for the woman to stubbornly refuse to pick it up. Either way, I feel like it probably wasn’t money that someone would be left struggling over if I pocketed it.
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I’m in Seattle.
If I found ¥20,000 and there seemed to be security cameras around, I’d turn it in. If I was absolutely sure no one was watching, I’d pocket it.
Why not have him entrust her with another ¥10 million? Not pay ¥10 million each time, but lend her ¥10 million per meeting. Or would it be ¥50,000 per meeting plus ¥9.95 million entrusted to her? Before long, her room might be so full of cash that she couldn’t even get inside. I’m not joking—I’m being completely serious.
I’d love to meet someone that wonderful too.
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