I’m going on an overnight hot-spring trip with someone I’ve met about three times.
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We usually meet on a pay-per-meeting allowance of ¥80,000. Since this will be a two-day, one-night trip, would asking for around ¥200,000 be reasonable?
He’s a nice guy, so I don’t want to ask for too much, but honestly, when I consider whether it’s worth the time, I’d like to receive about that much.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
First of all, a one-night, two-day hot-spring trip is completely different from a typical date.
When you consider the travel time, number of meals, amount of time you’re committed, and the level of attention required, it’s impossible to treat it as the same as your usual pay-per-meeting dates.
Even so, a man thinking, “We usually meet for 80,000 yen, so this time should just be an extension of that,” is honestly being extremely self-serving.
If you calmly calculate the time efficiency, hours committed, physical demands, and emotional burden, wanting around 200,000 yen is neither greedy nor unreasonable. In fact, I think it’s a sensible decision based on the actual numbers.
If he’s clearly keeping you longer than usual, then it’s only natural that he should pay accordingly. Trying to get away with “He’s a nice person” or “We have a relationship” without offering more simply shifts the burden onto you.
So I think it’s perfectly fine to calmly state the facts, such as:
“Since a one-night, two-day trip involves a longer time commitment, I’m thinking of around ¥X this time.”
There’s no need to make it emotional or feel guilty.
That said, this is assuming you’re viewing it as business-oriented papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
If this is a papa (a male supporter) you genuinely care about and want to cherish, then it may be different.
There are certainly people who feel, “I’m happy just to spend time together,” or “I’m happy simply being able to accompany him.”
So I think the answer will come naturally if you first decide whether this is “papa-katsu as work” or “a relationship that includes genuine feelings.”
Rather than accepting too little and regretting it later, please make the decision that properly protects your own value and the burden you’re taking on.
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I only travel with someone I’ve had a long-term monthly arrangement with. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be enjoyable.
There’s no additional charge, and I don’t initiate the invitation. I might add a little extra for souvenirs or things like that, depending on my mood.
If I were invited on a pay-per-meeting basis? Hmm, probably around ¥150,000. It’s best to state early on the amount that would make you feel comfortable.
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I think you should simply tell him those terms as they are.
P.S.
Even if you can’t be completely honest with each other, it’s best to have a relationship where you can at least share your opinions.
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> Honestly, when I consider the time involved, I’d like to receive at least that much.
A lot of men don’t want to date women who are focused on maximizing their time efficiency. So if you’re hoping for ¥200,000, I think it would be better not to go in the first place.
If you don’t go, you can avoid letting him realize that you’re thinking in terms of time efficiency, and you may still be able to continue seeing each other. But if you tell him this time that you want ¥200,000, he may start reconsidering any future relationship.
That said, I can understand wanting a little extra allowance when the trip goes into the next day. Under normal circumstances, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want around ¥80,000 + ¥80,000 = ¥160,000 for a two-day trip.
However, men may see the cost of the trip as a kind of present, so I imagine it can be a difficult issue.
For that reason, I think you should only go if you genuinely want to go with him even for ¥80,000. Otherwise, it’s probably best to turn him down.
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There’s nothing more boring than discussing money throughout a trip.
Ideally, you should wait until you’ve built a trusting relationship where you don’t have to worry about money.
Since you’ve only met three times, I think it’s also fine to leave it up to him.
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I gave a woman who usually receives ¥200,000 per meeting ¥800,000 for a three-day, two-night trip. Of course, I also covered the travel expenses and whatever we spent locally.
> We usually meet for ¥80,000 each time, but would around ¥200,000 be reasonable for a two-day, one-night trip?
If it’s ¥80,000 per meeting, I’d say ¥160,000 for a two-day, one-night trip.
That said, women I’d actually want to travel with are extremely rare.
Over my many years with Universe Club, I’ve only gone on trips with a handful of women. I’m someone who’d rather work, so from my perspective, traveling is terribly inefficient in terms of time.
The going rate for allowances isn’t going up. I’ve tried quite hard myself, but what surprised me was how many female commenters harshly criticized me for giving women generous allowances.
I’m used to being harassed or envied by men, but I never expected women to attack me too. That’s when I realized: no wonder allowance rates aren’t going up.
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I also travel and stay overnight with a few women, usually for one allowance per meeting.
No matter how many nights the trip lasts, I pay one allowance. So, if we took two trips a month, it would be two allowances.
Since traveling means spending a long time together, both people need to feel the same way for it to be enjoyable.
If you made me that offer—¥200,000 for one night and two days—I’d probably decline any future arrangement with you.
I’m not looking for a relationship where our time can simply be reduced to a monetary value.
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I don’t take them on trips, but I do sometimes meet overnight. Next week, we’ll meet in the evening, stay overnight, and part ways around noon the following day.
The allowance is pay-per-meeting only. Whether we part ways after two hours or spend the night, the amount doesn’t change—these are women who want to stay overnight anyway.
If I were you, I’d make sure to confirm the details well before the trip. That way, if he thinks like I do, you can avoid any mismatch and an awkward atmosphere on the day.
Hopefully, you can get him to increase the allowance. Just my two cents.
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I pay ¥50,000 per meeting and have no trouble finding women willing to accompany me on overnight stays or trips, so I really can’t understand how that papa feels.
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