I’ve posted twice before—more like asking for advice than asking a question. Thank you for your opinions back then.

“I think she’s a really interesting woman, and I’d like to keep seeing her.” That one sentence says it all. Whether other people have an adult relationship every time, or whether they also have a hard time getting that far, is beside the point. You’re probably drawn to her because she’s unlike anyone you’ve met before. And if you let her slip away, you may never meet another woman like her again. So with this woman—who keeps you on your toes and doesn’t always do what you expect—I think it’s important to convince yourself that figuring out how to reach an adult relationship next time is part of what attracts you to her. It’s almost like a game in itself. She may even ask for a higher allowance at some point. I think you may eventually come to enjoy—or perhaps right now, endure—the unpredictable nature of interactions between two people. Try to take a slightly detached view, and enjoy the process of figuring out how to win her over. If you’re thinking, “I want to enjoy an adult relationship too,” then you could also see a more straightforward woman at the same time. There are various other options as well. As long as you want to keep seeing her, I think you should treat her well.

I only see one person, and I believe I’m the only person she’s seeing as well. We’ve been together for eight years now. She told me she’d like to graduate from papa-katsu next spring, and I agreed. 1. Do you always have an adult relationship whenever you meet? There have only been a handful of times when we didn’t. In our case, I get the feeling that she looks forward to it too. 2. Are there people who have a hard time getting their partner to agree to it? Not in my case. I get the feeling that she looks forward to it too. 3. Should I tell her that I’d like to have an adult relationship every time if possible? I suppose I should end things and find someone else, but for some reason, I’m drawn to her. You should talk to her about it. We haven’t had this issue recently, but when we first started seeing each other, we talked things through many times because we didn’t always feel the same way. I feel that’s how we gradually became comfortable being intimate with each other. If you talk to her and she still doesn’t try to meet your needs, then I think it’s understandable to move on.

Yes! This isn’t a difficult question. I honestly think you’re being treated as an easy mark. The power balance is completely in her favor. She thinks she can refuse you and still get an allowance, so you’re basically a pushover papa (a male supporter). If she isn’t responding well and keeps turning you down, I’d end things. It’s a waste of both money and time. Why not make offers to a few other women? There are lots of women registered here waiting for offers. You can find someone who’s willing to be intimate, is responsive, and is enjoyable to talk to and spend time with. But why only date one woman? I honestly don’t get it—you’re limiting your opportunities. There’s no better place for seeing multiple partners. Until you meet someone you really like, keep this woman as a backup and continue making offers. That probably gives you the best chance of finding the right person. Sometimes someone you only meant to keep on the side gradually turns out to be a great match, which is really interesting too. When you only have one person, you become overly attached because they’re your only option. Fuu is around your age too, but at this age, getting jealous, sulking, or acting clingy is incredibly uncool. Rather than merely being disliked, you’ll creep women out. Isn’t it most attractive to confidently show that you’d be fine even if she disappeared? If you’re seeing several women, losing one doesn’t hurt as much. Besides, she probably has plenty of papas, boyfriends, and friends-with-benefits anyway. Haha. You might also want to try ED medication. It’ll keep you going strong. Sorry for being such an extrovert, but Fuu works out so he can have more enjoyable sex. Why not try exercising? It boosts your testosterone and gives you a real surge of confidence. Highly recommended. Fuu usually has plans with a different woman every week, and two rounds is the standard. Sometimes three. The other day I stayed overnight and managed six rounds—three at night, three after waking up. I’m actually more energetic in the morning, and the refractory period is shorter. Haha. You only live once. In your 50s, you can already see the end approaching, and you never know when you’ll stop being able to have sex. So you don’t have time to sit around moping. Move on to the next one. Let’s both enjoy life to the fullest.

1. We’ve been seeing each other for a long time, and neither of us likes having an adult relationship (intimate) every time we meet. That’s why, even when we travel together, we understand that there are so many fun things to do that we don’t have time for an adult relationship—or an allowance—and that we can always do that on a normal day anyway. Whether we have an adult relationship depends on how the day unfolds after we meet. Even if we’ve agreed to have dinner only, there are times when she suggests going to a hotel afterward. Sometimes we decide to go even when we’re both excited but don’t have much time. When we’re traveling, an adult relationship isn’t the main purpose. After enjoying ourselves to the fullest, even a short time together can feel exciting. In fact, there have been trips where we didn’t have an adult relationship at all, and therefore no allowance for one either. 2. No. 3. Since an adult relationship isn’t the main purpose, there’s nothing I need to say about it. Based on your question, it sounds like you want an adult relationship every time, so it seems your expectations are quite incompatible with this woman. I think it would be helpful to organize your thoughts about your dating style, what you want to do, and what you want to offer a woman. If you meet women normally rather than through a club, there’s no assumption of an adult relationship, and certainly no expectation that it must be the purpose every time. Even in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), some relationships are more like dates where both people do what they want and enjoy themselves. If you’re seeing just one person, you may end up meeting several times a week. You’ll go wherever she wants to go, do what she wants to do, and share enjoyable time together. Depending on the people involved, some build that kind of relationship first and then gradually deepen their intimate compatibility. You may simply be incompatible with this woman. There are also plenty of women who don’t want an adult relationship every time they meet. Rather than having obligatory sex without any excitement, if things happen when you’re both genuinely in the mood—after building up the anticipation, so to speak—she may become like a completely different person. Even with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), unless you can honestly say, “I’d be happy if this were the only woman I ever saw—she’s one of the greatest women in my life, including my wife and past partners,” I don’t think there’s any need to limit yourself to just one person.

1. I often go on dates without an adult relationship as well. 2. If a woman is unresponsive even when we do become intimate, I don’t see her again. 3. Why not just tell her how you feel? If you’re not having an adult relationship, you could also postpone the date. Expecting one woman to offer both fun and enjoyable intimacy can be pretty difficult. I think part of the appeal of a dating club is being able to see different women, but if you want to focus on just one, it may be better to look for someone else.

I’m not familiar with your previous question, but I hope this helps. 1. If I want that kind of relationship, then that’s definitely where things go. If circumstances make it difficult, we work it out by rescheduling or something similar. The exception is when I still want to meet even though I’m not looking for an adult relationship—just dinner, for example. 2. I wouldn’t do that with someone I’ve already been intimate with, even once. This isn’t romance, after all. 3. I think you should just say it. If they give you some meaningless evasive response, that’s an immediate deal-breaker. I cut off a favorite I’d been seeing for six months in an instant just the other day. That said, judging from your post, you seem satisfied, so don’t take everything at face value—make your decision calmly.

>1. Do you always have an adult relationship (intimate) whenever you meet? Not always. Depending on our schedules, we sometimes meet just for tea or a meal. Very occasionally, we may have planned to go to a hotel, but she contacts me a few days before—or even the day of—to say that she’s experiencing unexpected bleeding, and we end up having tea or a meal instead. When we meet without sex, there’s no allowance either. In my personal experience, when the intimate part is canceled on the day, the woman has voluntarily returned the allowance. >2. Has anyone had experiences where the other person wouldn’t let things progress very easily? I haven’t had that experience. >3. Should I tell her that, if possible, I’d like to be intimate every time? You could try telling her and see how she responds, then decide what you want to do about the relationship going forward. Personally, I don’t understand wanting to continue a relationship with someone who doesn’t respond very positively.