I was told that we should have a trial period before becoming intimate.
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The allowance would be ¥30,000 per meeting. After seeing how well we get along, we’d discuss whether to make it a monthly arrangement or pay-per-meeting, as well as how much the allowance should be.
Is this kind of arrangement common?
If we’re going to be intimate, I feel that ¥50,000 or more is the minimum, so I’m not really comfortable doing it for ¥30,000. Is ¥50,000 too much?
I’d appreciate hearing everyone’s opinions.
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I feel quite uncomfortable with the term “trial period.”
If intimacy is involved, then it isn’t a trial at all—it’s a proper adult relationship. Lowering the terms with excuses like “to see if we’re compatible” or “we’re just feeling things out” feels far too convenient.
If compatibility is genuinely important to him, wouldn’t it make more sense to offer sincere terms from the very beginning? A “trial” based on intimacy for ¥30,000 ends up making the woman bear all the risk.
If you feel that intimacy should come with an allowance of at least ¥50,000, I think it’s perfectly fine to trust that feeling. Whether ¥50,000 is high or not isn’t about the going rate—it’s about your own standards. If the terms already feel wrong to you, then they’re not right for you.
In this world, promises like “we’ll start low and raise it later” are among the least likely to actually happen. Terms that feel uncomfortable from the start usually continue to bother you afterward.
So I don’t think you need to force yourself to accept this offer, and I believe it’s perfectly fine to clearly turn it down. There are definitely other people who will respect your terms properly.
Please don’t let phrases like “it’s just a trial” or “we’re only seeing how things go” sway you, and don’t lower your own standards.
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The trial period itself is strange enough, but it’s even more bizarre that the terms become worse during it.
Even cabaret club hostesses are paid a high hourly rate during their trial period. Some hostesses who are hired solely for their looks go from one trial period to another.
Even part-time restaurant workers get an hourly rate several dozen percent higher during the opening period, even if they can’t do the job yet, simply for being there.
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If you agree to 30,000 yen at the start, they’ll probably continue offering 30,000 yen going forward as well. If you’re not happy with that amount, it would be better to turn it down for your own sake.
Whether 50,000 yen is too much depends on whether you’re worth that amount.
If you ask for 50,000 yen every time and your papas keep leaving, it may mean you’re not worth that much to them.
From a papa’s perspective, if two women both ask for 50,000 yen, he’ll either choose the one he feels offers more value—or choose someone who asks for less than 50,000 yen.
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Only a small number of people do this, and there’s also a 30% chance it’s a scam.
If they say they’ll pay later, there’s an 80% chance it’s a scam.
The first time, always get your allowance before entering the room or immediately upon arrival, even for a pay-per-meeting arrangement.
If you think it’s too little, you should turn it down.
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I’m not sure whether that’s common, but I don’t change the allowance from the amount we agreed on initially.
If you’re willing to compromise because meeting people is your priority, that’s fine. But if you have a minimum of 5 in mind, I think you should mention it from the start.
This is just my personal opinion, but I don’t think 5 is particularly high.
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Personally, I’ve never said anything like that, so it isn’t common in my experience.
I set the allowance at 50,000 yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement, both during the trial period and after continuing the relationship. If I feel we’re not a good match during the trial period, I simply don’t continue seeing them.
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