Has anyone here ended things with a PJ after dating for six months or more, rather than just one or two meetings?
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(Leaving out reasons like work or family circumstances.)
If so, I’d appreciate it if you could share why, if you’re comfortable doing so.
I wouldn’t mind being broken up with by a woman, but I feel bad ending things for my own reasons—namely, because I’ve met someone I really like. These girls have treated an unremarkable older guy like me so well, after all.
I thought I’d be happy keeping things fun with multiple partners, but then I met a PJ I really clicked with...
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
I completely understand how you feel.
When you find a new favorite among the women you meet, it can feel like your feelings are somewhat different from those you have for someone you’ve been seeing for a while.
I’ve felt the same way, but I haven’t ended things with anyone myself.
That said, I did start reaching out less often, and one woman eventually told me, “If you don’t want to see me anymore, please feel free to just say so.”
I told her, “That’s not what this is about.”
Also, I’ve found that once you continue seeing the new woman for a while, that difference in feelings tends to fade.
Personally, I don’t think you should make a decision too quickly. It’s better to take your time so you won’t regret ending things with the woman you’ve been seeing.
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At your age, you should be able to judge that from your life experience.
The reason is simple: if a man feels that the physical chemistry and everything else are perfect, and that he’ll never meet anyone like her again, then there’s hardly any need for him to see other women.
But the crucial point is that she also needs to see him as the one and only.
As long as he stops seeing other women, I don’t think there’s any particular need to break up.
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LOL. Why not keep seeing both—the papa you’ve really come to like and the papa who treats you well?
I don’t see why you have to limit yourself to just one.
Even if you end up really liking someone, I’d assume there’s still a chance that papa might cut things off with you.
If your feelings get too intense, they may start to dislike you. After all, this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Even if I meet a woman I really like and end up seeing the woman who has treated me well less often, I wouldn’t consider ending things with her.
If you feel she’s been good to you, why not continue looking after her until she’s the one who decides to end things?
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I completely understand how you feel.
The women at dating clubs are exceptionally high-caliber, so I can see how repeatedly making offers could lead to a situation like this. In most cases, they probably use work or family circumstances as an excuse because it’s hard to simply say they want to end things after meeting someone they like.
Oh, as for me? I believe that “someone even better will definitely come along” than the women I’m currently seeing, so I don’t make any new offers until someone ends things with me.
Once an arrangement has continued for about a year, it tends to become quite firmly established. Because they receive an allowance, I think I’ve also become an important partner to them—not in a lovey-dovey boyfriend-and-girlfriend sort of way, though.
To be honest, I’m an old man, so you’d think they’d move on to younger men, but they don’t. So we end up thinking, “Well, I suppose this is fine…” and the relationship just continues, dragging on for quite a long time.
They’ve even told me, “I’d still like to see you even if we stopped being intimate,” so it may continue indefinitely.
My suggestion is that you should simply keep seeing them as you have been. I don’t know when, but eventually they’ll probably be the ones to say they want to end things.
Since they seem to be girls who have treated you very well, I think you should continue looking after them for a while this time. You could call relationships through a dating club superficial, but they’re still lovely women you’ve been seeing.
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There are all kinds of reasons—maybe the initial freshness has worn off, things have become routine, or you’ve simply gotten bored. But once I lose interest, I cut things off cleanly.
On the other hand, if I really like someone, why would I need to end it?
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It may sound harsh, but if he’s already planning to do something cruel, then he’s a cruel man to begin with. I think it’s best to cut things off cleanly, thinking, “Thanks for playing your important role as a stopgap.” No need for misplaced sympathy.
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