Tips
Jul 12, 2022 05:22
9 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Hmm, I’m not sure.
The woman I had a monthly arrangement with got married, and we talked about continuing to see each other after the wedding. But it was a shotgun wedding, and she seems busy raising the baby, so it’s been really hard to find time that works for both of us.
I wonder if I can keep waiting. I might, if she were exceptionally appealing…
🏅 手コキ評論家
入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
Although I wasn’t introduced to Sacchan through Universe, she is married. This is my first time mentioning it, but her husband approves of our relationship. That doesn’t necessarily make things less risky—there are probably risks that come specifically because he knows and approves. Even if you’ve cleared the social and legal hurdles, people’s feelings can be fragile. And while her husband approves, Joe’s wife hasn’t given her approval, so the legal risks on our side remain unchanged.
It’s a lot of hassle, isn’t it? But as long as it’s within a range we can control, it can be pretty enjoyable, haha.
I definitely don’t think they’re the majority, but surely there are quite a few men who are into married women, right?
Other
There are probably married female members as well, but I get the impression they aren’t very popular…
As the other respondents have said, it also poses risks for the men they date. So unless you can create a convincing story that he thought you were single—and keep it hidden from your husband until the day you die—I think you should probably do as you please.
I’ve never wanted to get married and have always hoped for a DINKS lifestyle, so I’m sorry I can’t fully relate to your feelings.
Other
Only one of the women I’ve dated continued seeing me until she got married, so I can’t generalize, but I ended things because she found a good partner—including financially—and I felt that my role in her life had naturally come to an end.
Of course, I have no right to tell her what to do about her future husband, and the final decision is up to the two of them. However, if she were with someone who would require her to continue papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) from the outset, I think I would at least ask whether she was truly okay with that.
The reason is that, while money may not be everything, I believe many women do papa-katsu because money is an important factor for them. If their partner can’t meet that need at even a minimum level, I worry they’ll struggle.
Also, if she had to marry someone like that, I might not have dated her in the first place.
For those reasons, I wouldn’t be okay with it. So even if she wanted to continue our relationship, I don’t think I would if she were getting married.
The risks wouldn’t be much different from the current situation, so that in itself isn’t a particular reason I’d dislike it.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
If that’s the kind of person you are, it’s definitely possible.
Especially if you met them after your papa (a male supporter).
That said, from the man’s perspective, there’s much less reason to go out of his way to meet, so it ultimately depends on whether he takes a liking to you.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
The men who approached you while you were single may not want to date someone who’s married.
So I think you’ll need to feel them out individually and subtly.
You could re-register with Universe after getting married, or simply tell them, “I got married, but I’d still like to continue.” The men who approach you after that would likely be okay with dating a married woman.
So if the men you’re currently seeing feel that continuing after your marriage would be difficult, you’ll probably need to find new ones.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Several of my monthly partners have asked me, “Would you still see me if I got married?”
Men can date any number of women, but I used to think women weren’t like that. Still, I get the impression that quite a few women have room for a separate relationship on the side.
Personally, I’m wary of married women. I nearly died at Universe, after all 😅
That said, if one of my especially close monthly partners—like my ace—asked me to keep seeing her after she got married, I might continue the relationship. Feelings aren’t something you can neatly compartmentalize. I won’t know until the time comes.
Other
Some people may be active while married, but I imagine most people start papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after getting married for one reason or another.
I assume you’re planning to get married soon. Does the man who will become your husband know that you’re doing this? If he knows and has given you permission, then I don’t see any problem… In that case, I think you should simply tell your papa (a male supporter) that as well.
But if you’re doing it secretly and want to continue even after getting married… then why are you getting married? What’s the point of marriage? I honestly can’t understand it.
Maybe I only feel that way because I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t consider papa-katsu if I had a boyfriend or husband. It’s your life, so I think you should live it in a way you won’t regret. But if I were the man who was going to become your husband, I’d probably feel pretty pathetic.
If there’s a man you’re currently seeing who wants to meet you badly enough to take that risk, perhaps you could continue seeing him.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Considering the potential problems, I can’t imagine doing it either.