The girl I’d been seeing for about five years stopped contacting me for around six months, and I found out she was nine months pregnant.
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The baby isn’t mine. Her ex refused to acknowledge the child or pay child support, so she says she’ll raise it alone.
This girl herself was raised in exactly the same kind of single-mother household, so maybe she couldn’t bring herself to have an abortion even after finding out she was pregnant?
Because that would mean denying her own identity, wouldn’t it?
Anyway, she’s asking me to keep seeing her once a month until she gives birth, paying 50,000 yen each time as before, since she’ll have more expenses going forward. I’m not sure what to do.
I do have some feelings for her after seeing her for five years, but I’m also worried she may gradually come to rely on me, so I’m feeling rather conflicted.
She does have a daytime job, though she only finished high school and doesn’t earn much.
What would you do? I’ve never dated a single mother before, but I have a feeling she may contact me again once things settle down after the birth. If there’s anything I should be careful about, I’d appreciate your advice. m(_ _)m
The questioner was Mac.
If she was going to get pregnant anyway, she should have used my seed—I would’ve acknowledged the child and given her 100 million yen...
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂60s👑Universe male member
When you’re in your ninth month, it doesn’t seem like poking around with a penis would be good for you, so you probably wouldn’t feel like having much sex.
If it were someone I’d been with for five years, I’d probably feel some attachment and would help take care of them to a certain extent. I might even go with them to the ward office and help them apply for welfare. I’ve actually done that before.
But I can’t stand an irresponsible man who won’t even acknowledge the child as his. If he’s just running away, I’d hire a lawyer and go after him.
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So this isn’t your own child, then.
It’s hard to say, but if I were in your shoes, I think I’d want to help somehow while I still had feelings for them—like taking in a desperate bird that had flown into my arms.
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I also started wondering, “Wait… is this about Mr. Mac?”
Since Mr. Mac’s name is so well known at Universe, I imagine it would be difficult for him to simply abandon her. But I wonder if letting her go might actually be a form of love.
Having a child when you’re still young can make things really difficult. Once the baby is born, I’m sure Grandpa Mac will find the child so adorable that he won’t be able to just walk away.
But it isn’t Mr. Mac’s child, after all…
If she had asked him for help sooner, maybe something could have been done—but it’s too late now.
I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a definitive answer. m(_ _)m
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Everyone here is so kind… I’m honestly surprised.
Even if you care about her, isn’t the question how much you can really do for a child who isn’t your own?
I think she should wait until a few years after giving birth, when she has a little more breathing room with childcare, and then ask to meet you, Mac. Asking you to meet because having a baby costs money—before the child is even born and when it isn’t yours—seems a bit too self-centered.
Of course, raising a child is expensive and difficult, but she made that choice herself, so I think she should give it a little more thought as a mother.
So, if she comes to you after giving birth asking for support, and you genuinely want to help, then I hope you will. But I don’t think now is the right time. Even if you met now, you couldn’t have an adult relationship anyway…
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She probably came to me because she had nowhere else to turn, so I guess this is some kind of fate…
If the woman I’m currently seeing ended up in that situation and came to me, I think I’d support her financially as much as I could.
> I’m a little uneasy because she might gradually start relying on me more and more.
Within my means… Children are precious, and it’s a contribution to society!
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By the third line, I thought, “Is this Mac-san?” (笑)
If she’s a woman you used to date, I assume you liked her in the first place, so under normal circumstances, you’d probably just keep seeing her.
Are you concerned about the part about the one month leading up to the birth?
There’s apparently an urban legend that being intimate right beforehand makes labor come more easily, so I wonder if you’re thinking about having her accompany you, perhaps.
My impression of Mac-san is that if someone’s in trouble, he helps them.
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Wow, that’s way beyond anything I could’ve imagined—I can’t even imagine what I’d do.
That said, my actual job involves supporting single mothers in becoming financially independent, so I guess I’d hire her and help her with work.
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Wait?! Is this really a post from the real Mac-san Σ( ´･ω･`)?!
Honestly, I think it would be best to refrain from sexual activity at nine months pregnant. Her obstetrician-gynecologist should have told her that sex during pregnancy is prohibited.
Do the girl’s parents know about this? When someone is giving birth as a single mother, she needs support from people close to her. (I don’t mean that Mac-san should somehow end up taking responsibility for everything, but rather that she needs someone dependable—like a mother figure—to support her through the birth…)
She’ll also definitely need maternity leave from the time she gives birth. Even if she tries to keep working hard, it could negatively affect her health, especially if her recovery after childbirth is difficult.
Even for dinner or shopping dates with a pregnant woman, you need to be extremely careful. You have to worry about things like whether she might fall on the stairs.
So I feel like any relationship would probably have to wait until after she gives birth and things have settled down. But becoming a single mother is truly, truly difficult for a woman…
If you can, would you please offer her at least a little support?? I’m asking you on her behalf as well. (>_<) Sorry for going on so long. There’s still more I’d like to say, but… (>_<)
P.S.
I started wondering whether you really are Mac-san（笑）
P.P.S.
It did say she was from a single-parent household. I got ahead of myself.
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After reading the first third, I thought, “Isn’t this Mac?” (lol)
I think you’re better off not getting involved, but Mac is kind, so I’m sure he feels like he has to do something to help her. He’s clearly struggling with it, after all.
You can help her when she’s in trouble, but if you don’t also encourage her to become properly independent, you’ll just end up enabling a careless mother.
If I were a single mom, I’d raise my first child, have a second with Mac’s help, get ¥100 million, and put ¥50 million toward my first child’s future. (lol)
Marika
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If I weren’t worried about my stomach, I’d probably meet him.
Similarly, I was once tempted with, “If I get pregnant, you can finish inside me as much as you want for about six months.” (笑)
If it isn’t my own seed, I can turn someone down if I’m not in the mood, even if they rely on me.
P.S.
I also thought it might be Mac-san by the second or third line. (笑)
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