I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend (he pulled out).

I’m in Seattle. Until you’re considering marriage, contraception is necessary. Even when my cycle was regular, I felt uneasy about going without a condom except right before my period. If your boyfriend won’t take conversations about contraception seriously, I think it’s better to break up sooner rather than waste your time.

I’m Dai, a male member. I feel like unprotected sex with a boyfriend, as long as he pulls out, is acceptable. Saying that a papa cares about you because he uses a condom is probably something specific to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You don’t usually worry about your boyfriend having an STI, so maybe the questioner’s perspective has gotten a little skewed from doing too much papa-katsu. By the way, simply going down on someone wouldn’t necessarily make people say you’re experienced, but being good at stimulating a man’s nipples probably would. As an excuse, I think it would sound natural to say something like, “I saw it in an AV when I was having a girls’ night with my female friends.”

I’m Kazu, a male member. You said you had a question, but I couldn’t really tell what you wanted to ask. I don’t usually like commenting on other people’s relationships, but since you seemed to want some feedback, I’ll share my impressions. I found it questionable that you stopped using contraception without telling him you were taking the pill. That said, your boyfriend may not have thought it through very carefully and simply assumed there was no need to worry about contraception because you agreed to it. What exactly does “only wanting your body” mean? Once things are heading toward sex, I think your body is “also” part of what he wants. Are relationships where physical intimacy isn’t a goal really that common? If you want to believe he isn’t only interested in your body, I think you should refuse to sleep with him until you’re married. If he doesn’t ask for sex until then, you could probably conclude that wasn’t his main motive. However, you might end up spending your whole life in a sexless marriage. And if he has those kinds of values, there could be trouble after marriage if he finds out you weren’t a virgin. Does wearing a condom mean he isn’t only after your body, while not wearing one means he is? If so, then the papas are wearing condoms, so that would mean they aren’t only interested in your body. The fact that you feel cared for when they use condoms—does that mean you feel the papas care about you more than your boyfriend does? When a woman licks my nipples, I also privately think she must be experienced. But I’m an adult, so I would never say something like, “You’re really used to this,” to a woman. As an aside, having my nipples licked doesn’t feel particularly good to me, so while it’s happening, I silently send a strong message saying, “Hurry up and lick my balls already” (lol). I think trying to defend yourself will only make things worse, so it’s probably best to let that comment slide. In the end, I still couldn’t tell what you wanted to ask. If you could explain more clearly what you’re looking for, you might be able to get more useful answers.

I’m Nana Ayase ♡ Once you let things happen without a condom, there’s always a chance he’ll expect it again next time. I don’t think condoms just break that often during sex, though—what do you think? Could he have intentionally made a small tear? It might be better not to tell him you’re on the pill. He may think you’re a sex worker. Since you’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s understandable that you’re used to this, but maybe he’s a little dominant? If he tells you to go down on him, you could start by saying you’re embarrassed and tease him a little.