I’ve only just joined the club. After my first date, I send a thank-you message on LINE, but should I include something like, “When shall we meet next?”

I’m Date ◎ Yume, a male member. In my case, we contact each other every day（笑） That said, since we’re both busy, we keep it to one exchange a day. If we only arrange the next meeting or talk about once a week, it doesn’t really feel like we’re dating... I understand that keeping communication to a minimum is efficient, but when it becomes mostly logistical, I start to see her as someone who only cares about money. Rather than focusing on the money, I’d like her to focus on me as a papa.

I’m Dai, a male member. If possible, I recommend talking about your next meeting while you’re together. Even if you can’t set a date because you don’t know your schedule yet, you can smoothly bring it up when replying to her thank-you LINE message. If there’s going to be a long gap, sending her a message about once a month should help keep her from forgetting you.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I’m not good at being asked about my availability. I’m an extremely busy corporate employee, so it’s not that I really have any free days—and even when I do, I’d rather be working. Having to suggest several possible dates means I have to think of several days when I won’t work, which is tough. So I appreciate it more when someone sends me a few options saying, “I’m available on these dates.” Then I only have to pick one of them.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. > Do I come across as being too pushy? I think being that proactive is perfectly fine. However, don’t ask, “When works for you?” Instead, tell her which dates you’re available. If the first meeting went really well, I think it’s a good idea to convey that excitement in your LINE messages. > After exchanging LINE contacts, should I take a more passive approach since each papa (male supporter) probably has his own pace? If you’re too passive, there’s a good chance things will simply fizzle out. > Should I send her something about once a month? During the first month, message her more often—once a week, or every two or three or four days. During the first three or four days, it’s even fine to message her every day.

I’m Aya, a female member. If he’s a papa you’d like to see again, I think it’s perfectly fine to reach out proactively. Personally, though, I’d try to get a sense of whether he’s the type who wants to stay in touch as much as possible, even about little things, or the type who only wants the bare minimum—like arranging schedules—and then tailor my LINE messages to him. If you’re going to mention your next date in your first thank-you message, I think it’s better to genuinely convey how much you enjoyed the date. Something like, “Thank you for today. I’d love to meet again on the ○th—does that work for you?” might come across as a bit too businesslike, as if you’re just going through the motions with one person after another. For example: “I’m on the train now! I’m still so excited that my heart is pounding. Thank you so much for taking me to such a wonderful restaurant as ○○ today—I’d never been anywhere like it before, and I was truly impressed! (some kind of emoji) I haven’t been able to eat out or see my friends much because of COVID, so spending time with you, enjoying delicious food and chatting after such a long time, was incredibly relaxing. I hope it’s not rude to put it that way. (some kind of emoji) I’d be so happy if we could become even closer from here on. I’d love to get to know you better and build a deeper connection with you ＞＜” Something along those lines. It’s even better if you include a specific episode from the time you spent with that papa. Writing this brought back memories of that exciting period when I was meeting lots of first-time papas. I remember getting butterflies with every man I met and feeling so excited, almost as if I were being introduced to potential boyfriends. I think that enthusiasm came across, and may have helped me meet some great papas. There’s just one important thing: if you send a LINE like the one above without genuinely feeling that way, he’ll probably be able to tell. So it’s best to use it only with someone you truly like. Sending it to a papa you’re not interested in will only make things harder for you later on… I hope you meet a wonderful papa, too. I’m rooting for you.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think it completely depends on the man. In my case, if she asks about the next date in a message right after our first date, it feels a little too eager and puts me off. Personally, I think it’s best if, after a week or two, she reaches out casually and lets me know she’d like to meet again—something along the lines of, “How about getting together soon?” I almost never message first. If it’s a month later, that feels like too long of a gap to me.