I’m having lunch tomorrow with my monthly papa (a male supporter) whom I’m quite close to. He said he’ll be working near my home, so we should have lunch while he’s in the area—just lunch, nothing more.

We’ve known each other for six months, and during that time we’ve traveled together, stayed overnight in Tokyo on weekends, and gone from dinner to a hotel before parting ways. It’s been an intense six months. This will be our first dinner-only date with no intimacy. Since it’s just a quick lunch, I wouldn’t really call it a date, though (lol). Why do you think he suddenly invited me like this? I adore my papa, but since our time together has always involved intimacy, I can’t help wondering what’s behind it. Would a papa who always wants intimacy, in a relationship with a pj involving money, suddenly want to do something so romantic? I’ve started imagining all sorts of possibilities—maybe he wants to come to my place and be intimate there, or maybe he’ll tell me over lunch that he wants to end our relationship. I’ll know everything tomorrow, but I’m so curious that I can’t sleep. Whenever we have a hotel date, he always asks, “Will you be okay getting to work tomorrow?” and pays close attention to the time. Even when there’s still time before the last train, he’s accompanied me all the way home by taxi. (Even though it costs around ¥5,000 in taxi fare just to stop by my place.) He also holds my hand and strokes my hair in the taxi. I’m not being conceited—I genuinely feel that he still likes me. I know that our relationship will inevitably end someday. On the other hand, I also understand that a man who spends this much money on and treats a terrible pj like me so kindly wouldn’t be left alone by other, more appealing pjs. Saying goodbye to a papa who has treated someone as rotten as me this well will be painful for a friendless woman with a thoroughly rotten personality like mine… I posted this question because I can’t sleep. Please don’t delete it d(￣ ￣)