I have a question about the pill and condoms. Thank you for your answer.

Other than women who are mainly focused on the money, I don’t think anyone assumes that taking the pill means unprotected sex is automatically okay. Personally, I’ve never met a woman like that. Also, since you work in healthcare, this may be preaching to the choir, but fluoroquinolone antibiotics have been linked to many reported cases of drug eruptions. (I actually developed a drug eruption while being treated for sinusitis.) I don’t think it’s necessarily safe just because any resulting infection could be cured with medication, so I believe you should be careful about getting involved with women who are okay with unprotected sex.

Oh, I see—you work in the medical field. My apologies. Your previous question and this one seem to have slightly different nuances. I don’t think telling someone she takes the pill necessarily means she wants to get a man’s attention or that she doesn’t want any physical intimacy, so you may be reading too much into it. I also think it’s a stretch to lump all women together that way. Besides, I don’t think there are many women like that. At least, I’ve hardly ever met one, and I’ve never interpreted it that way myself. You said, “I’m not married, but I do have children. Of course, I fully support them financially.” So perhaps being an attractive man who is capable of getting married—or supporting a child—has something to do with why you attract women like that.

It’s probably just because her period is really rough. I’d still be worried even if we didn’t do it raw…

When young women these days say “the pill,” they’re talking about low-dose birth control pills more than half the time, right? In other words, they’re mainly for controlling periods, and their contraceptive effect isn’t all that strong. Plus, without a condom, you’re looking at STIs... I’ve had a few girls I’d gotten close to tell me we didn’t need to use condoms or ask me to finish inside, but suggesting unprotected sex from the very first meeting is way too scary... There are always about three girls who want me to finish inside, but I still want to use a condom.

This isn’t about medical knowledge; it’s about whether you understand the nuances of human behavior, isn’t it? There are a very small number of women who say they’re okay with going without a condom, and I’ve also encountered women who said they were on the pill. It’s strange to judge someone solely by whether they bring that up or not. If you consider their words and actions beforehand, as well as the context, you can probably get a sense of what they mean. So, what was it you wanted to do again? If you’re not interested, you can simply ignore it. If you do want to go without a condom after all, you could play along with the conversation and feel things out. Incidentally, a woman who suggests going without a condom may do so with everyone—but whether she’s seeing multiple people at the same time is a separate issue. At a dating club, she may be okay with it because she intends to see only one person. Maybe it’s simply because she happened to have unprotected sex with all her previous boyfriends. You may be ignoring those feelings—or, conversely, looking down on her and treating her like a whore. That might be what you’re doing right now. Feeling things out means considering various possibilities, testing them, and narrowing things down. That’s basically how a doctor makes a diagnosis, too. Judging by the way you write, I assume you’re not a doctor, but you should try imagining the possibilities in your own way. In any case, stop thinking, “Because she said this, she must be that kind of person.” There are all kinds of people and all kinds of contexts. Thinking that way will cause you to miss important signals from women. Taro

I think you may be overestimating things by assuming she’s trying to get your attention by mentioning that she’s on the pill.