A woman from the club asked me to come to her place. What do you think her intentions are? We’ve only met twice.

You’re being a little careless, which is kind of scary. I wouldn’t go. If your boyfriend or parents showed up while you were in the middle of it, it would definitely turn into a complete disaster. Terrifying.

What does he mean by asking me to come over after only two dates? What could be going through his mind? I don’t understand. It’s perfectly normal not to understand—in fact, I think that’s the sensible reaction. Sometimes, things naturally progress to going to her place after the first meeting, or stopping by when there’s a reason, like cooking or celebrating something—even with women from an arrangement club. But in those cases, it happens naturally; it’s never been planned in advance. And I’ve never been intimate at a club woman’s place—only kissed...

There are all kinds of possibilities. She might simply be someone with very few reservations about inviting men home, or she could be setting you up for extortion—or even be a psychopath. It depends on the person. In your case, though, it’s definitely one of those possibilities, so asking for general opinions isn’t very meaningful. Just as there’s no such thing as an “average person.” Basically, until you can trust someone, you should consider every possible risk. I think you may be misunderstanding what it means to “trust” someone. It doesn’t mean believing in them; it means being able to trust yourself to have fully read their intentions and movements. Blind faith is for fools. Also, you should observe the other person more carefully. There are clues in everything they do. From your question, I’m worried that your powers of observation seem disastrously weak. It’s often said that Japanese people can broadly be divided into about four major groups. Different groups—for example, college graduates working for companies and high-school-graduate delinquents—basically don’t mix. People you meet through friends are usually from the same group as you. But someone who approaches you through a dating club or somewhere similar may have a completely different upbringing, financial foundation, cultural background, or worldview. In that case, even if they look Japanese, they may be as difficult to read as a foreigner. I think you should properly recognize that this kind of risk exists. I’m not saying you should avoid all risks. Taking risks with full awareness is part of the appeal of this little game. I once had a similar experience overseas: on my first date with a woman I met at a bar, she took me back to her place. It was in an area with no Japanese people at all, had a slight slum-like atmosphere, and the windows had bars on them—perhaps because the neighborhood was unsafe. The room itself felt like a prison. I was on maximum alert, repeatedly telling myself, “If anyone comes out, kill them without hesitation.” In the end, nothing happened, and it led to a good relationship afterward—a memorable prison-room experience. It’s a fond memory now, haha. I hope you have a wonderful encounter. Wishing you the best of luck. Taro

Isn’t that scary? She could be sharpening a kitchen knife in another room, for all you know. The woman may not be worried about it, but I think you should be. You’re probably not the only one she’s inviting to her place.

I’ve never been to his home, but after seeing each other for a long time, he did invite me over. Everyone may take it differently, but personally, if I were invited to someone’s home after only meeting a few times, I might feel uncomfortable and pull back. Our situations may be different, of course, but everyone is different, so I think it’s best to decide based on the circumstances and the person’s character.

It is a little strange to ask someone you’ve never met about the psychology of someone they’ve met but don’t understand. Maybe she’s simply not very cautious, and has the attitude that people she knows are welcome to come to her home. Or perhaps she’s just being kind and generous, thinking, “It’ll save you the cost of a hotel.” That said, there is also a possibility that she does live chat or some other online side job, and that other men might see her at home. But since she could find plenty of people online without specifically inviting someone she met through Universe, that possibility seems fairly unlikely. If it bothers you, I think you could just say that you’d prefer to meet at a hotel until you get to know her better. And if she’s the type of woman who wants the money saved on the hotel, you could add a little extra to her allowance and continue meeting at hotels.

She’s the kind of girl who doesn’t think much of it. That’s why she casually invites other men too. It doesn’t mean anything that she invited you, so don’t read too much into it and get your hopes up. Marika

I think she’s comfortable with men coming over to her place. She may also be inviting other men over—such as casual sex partners she met at a drinking party or on a dating app, rather than through the club—so be careful.

I think she’s probably just that kind of woman, like Mac said in his answer. It’s simply a cultural difference. Maybe it’s because of TV, but a lot of people seem to ask about the “psychology” behind it.