I recently met a man who had offered to see me.
His allowance is about the going rate (though considerably lower than what my other regular papas pay). He acted as though it were a given that we would do it twice, and he made a lot of comments bragging about being wealthy and talking down to me. When we met last time, he forcefully set a date for our next meeting, but I was planning to block his calls and cut off contact altogether.
However, since he did make an offer, would it be okay to say, just in case, “If we’re going to meet again, I’d like you to improve the terms”?
I’ve seen people say in response to questions like this that it’s fine to start with a low allowance and get him hooked. But in my experience, most men who offer low allowances try to stretch the meeting from the afternoon onward for the same amount, or try to do it twice so they can feel like they’re getting their money’s worth.
They never seem to think, “She put in extra effort, so I’ll give her more.” I’ve always just cut them off right away, but do other women negotiate the terms before cutting a papa off?
I don’t have the courage to go that far, so I usually just fade out...
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m in favor of negotiating the allowance. If it helps establish terms that satisfy both parties, I think continuing the relationship is ultimately more beneficial for the woman involved.
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Aya’s the only one who can get her papa hooked and have her allowance raised.
There’s no way ordinary people could pull that off just by copying her.
—Marika
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The least risky way is to part without causing any conflict, so I think it’s better to fade out rather than say too much.
In this case, though, since you’ve already made plans for next time, I’d cancel first and then fade out.
If you can put up with it as long as you raise the terms, you could try telling him that. But if he’s already insisting that an adult relationship is guaranteed and making various other demands, I have a feeling he’ll keep saying things like, “I’m giving you this much allowance, so you should do this and that,” which sounds like nothing but trouble.
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Men who try to get their money’s worth probably won’t be satisfied no matter what you do. After negotiating, they may make snide remarks or drag out the date to feel they’ve gotten their money’s worth. It’s probably best to pass. I think they’ll only cause you stress.
As for the opinion that you should get a low-allowance papa emotionally hooked, I don’t think it means that every low-paying papa will raise his allowance if you make him fall for you.
Personally, I feel that papas who insist on an adult relationship every time while offering a low allowance won’t increase it no matter what you do. They’re focused on getting an intimate relationship at a good value.
On the other hand, papas who want regular dates—not just hotel visits—may sometimes keep raising the allowance if you get them emotionally invested. They’re the type who want a deeper emotional connection, so to speak. However, they could also become stalkers, so assess them carefully as you cultivate the relationship.
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I don’t think you need to go, but as a small contribution to society, tell him, “Doing it twice is abnormal, your condescending attitude is creepy, stop bragging about being rich, and don’t get carried away—you’re the cheapest one here,” then block him.
I don’t really approve of ignoring him and canceling at the last minute. If you’ve made a reservation at a restaurant, you’re inconveniencing other people.
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Based on the question, I don’t think this is someone worth negotiating with, so I’d suggest simply parting ways without trying to negotiate.
I assume this is a papa you’re keeping as part of diversifying for risk management, but if you’re going to invest time in cultivating one, it should probably be a papa who currently offers good terms.
If he only pays around the allowance you consider the going rate, unless he’s exceptionally worthwhile, and you already have another good papa in a monthly arrangement, you’re better off focusing on strengthening that relationship and ending things quickly with a merely average papa who isn’t particularly good.
I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but the girl I’m seeing was also dating someone like that alongside me. It seems she no longer sees a papa who causes her stress despite offering only average terms.
I have no idea whether she feels any stress dating me, though（笑）
Everyone has different values, but at a dating club, I think the allowance is an important factor for many people.
Being overly focused on money will get you rejected, but in that respect, I think it’s best to choose the right person and cultivate the relationship rather than try to negotiate.
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The best option is to do nothing and end things.
I think it’s better to find someone who places more importance on the allowance.
It’s not just about the man—unless both of you prioritize the allowance, your values and other things probably won’t align.
And really, with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you don’t have to push yourself or try so hard.
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