In my case:
① Keep our meetings to a minimum
→ Even though I don’t think badly of my papa, I feel unsettled when we can’t meet. So this had the opposite effect.
② Have non-adult dates more than twice as often as adult dates
→ I enjoyed going to hotels with that papa so much that I was even fine with making adult dates the main focus, so this also had the opposite effect.
③ Keep our everyday communication to the bare minimum (I basically never reach out first)
→ I’m the type who wants to stay in touch moderately in order to get to know my papa’s personality, so this had the opposite effect too.
I’d be frustrated if a papa (a male supporter) I liked had days when he could meet but chose not to. I’d also be unhappy if we met but he wouldn’t be intimate with me. So if the allowance is high enough to make putting up with that worthwhile, I can understand choosing that kind of arrangement.
There’s no one-size-fits-all rule when it comes to these relationships. As everyone has said, why don’t you start by asking what your partner wants?
I feel like your arrangement is going to fall apart pretty soon.
Marika
P.S. Loser, I think people would be happier if you just stuck with your current style.
> If the goal is intimacy, which is a universal fact, why do you make some days hotel-free?
Because I know that not meeting can be the best kind of date.
No matter how close we become, there are very few women who genuinely want to spend time with a guy more than twenty years older than them. My ace sometimes reaches out saying, “I want to see you today,” but I think that comes from anxiety. Since we don’t meet very often, she’s probably worried that I might cut things off.
> What do you do on non-adult dates?
We go for drives or have meals.
This applies not only to my ace but to my other regulars as well—the frequency of adult relationships is fairly low.
You could say I’m in the business of selling masculinity. My greatest desire is to put on a brave face and look cool in front of a woman, so ejaculation comes second.
Every man wants to look cool in front of a woman, right? Or do you want to show your less-than-cool side in front of someone you like?
Basically, I’m a narcissist. I’m cool because I give her an allowance even if we don’t meet once a month. I’m cool because I don’t even flinch when we go months without an adult date.
That said, being self-absorbed makes me a third-rate man, so I’d like to somehow work my way up to at least second-rate.
I also have a need to constantly train myself. If I’m not pushing myself, I feel like I’ll die. I’m like a tuna that dies if it stops swimming.
I work out because I get anxious when I’m not training. I can’t relax unless I go running. Putting on a brave face in front of women is another form of training for me. I want to grow. I don’t want to stand still. If I stop moving forward, I’ll probably become depressed.
Update:
A former ace I got back together with, who I’d barely been in touch with until now, has recently started contacting me frequently. She keeps saying she wants to see me and tells me she loves me. I get the feeling she’s becoming somewhat serious about me.
My prospective next ace had a staff comment on her profile saying something like, “She’s extremely poor at communicating. Replies are rare,” but she contacts me regularly.
After reading the female respondents’ answers, I’ve been doing some reflecting. I guess keeping too much distance isn’t necessarily a good thing.
Update 2:
Thank you, Marika.
