This morning, a 41-year-old guy I met at Universal Studios messaged me on LINE saying, “I want a relationship where our hearts are connected, not just sex, so please trust me.” He also said he wants us to gradually become closer naturally, without forcing anything.
Um… that’s not happening, right?
What exactly am I supposed to trust him about when we don’t even know when this relationship will end? (lol)
A lot of women make some compromises in relationships, don’t they? Or rather than compromises, they make efforts they wouldn’t make in an ordinary romantic relationship and go out of their way to accommodate the other person.
He says, “Trust me,” but I feel that if a man really likes a woman, he has to devote himself to her until she finally feels secure.
Only then will her feelings start to move, even a little. That’s how difficult it is.
Isn’t that what dating a woman who’s 10 or 20 years younger is supposed to be about? Or am I wrong?
I’m a little confused.
Is this what people call a serious crush? What should I reply?
Also, this is completely personal, but I don’t like people who write “ore” as “ore” in katakana instead of kanji.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m not sure what else the gentleman said, but he sounds like a pretty decent person, doesn’t he?
If he doesn’t later say there’s no allowance, I’d say he’s definitely a good one.
But if you’re thinking, “No, that’s not right,” then it’s probably best to part ways this time.
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Since neither men nor women know what the other person is really like at first, it’s best to simply spend time dating normally.
As you mentioned, relationships through a dating club often don’t last very long. However, if you both make a little effort to be considerate, others will gradually drop out, and if your relationship continues, you’ll naturally grow closer.
Until then, wouldn’t it be enough to stay connected by sending each other a LINE message once a day or so?
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He may genuinely be romantically invested, but it’s also possible that he simply wants to enjoy dating a younger woman without breaking up his family. He didn’t seem all that dangerous to me.
If you pretend to trust and follow his lead, the relationship may become more stable, and the total amount of your allowance could increase.
※What Mac says is true: “A man who’s genuinely in love won’t ask you to trust him—he’ll just quietly give you your allowance.” Someone like that will try to show it through his actions rather than saying, “Trust me.” Some may also use sweet words, but instead of speaking in a commanding tone, they’ll phrase it more like a request: “I want you to trust me.”
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I’m not sure whether he’s genuinely fallen for you, but it sounds like he simply wasn’t on the same wavelength as you.
He’s free to express what he wants, and you’re equally free to decide how you feel about it.
He probably just wanted to get a little poetic. It’s the same kind of thing as feeling uncomfortable with people who write “ore” in a particular way. Personally, I find both “ore” and “オレ” a little off-putting.
As for how you should respond, I think you should simply say what you’re feeling. If your reaction is, “Um… that’s not going to work for me,” and you feel you should be honest about it, then you can just reply, “Um… that’s not going to work for me…”
As you said, in relationships through a dating club, women often make efforts and show consideration in ways they wouldn’t in ordinary romantic relationships. So you could also return that consideration by replying with something like, “That makes me happy” or “Thank you.”
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