I’ve been in a monthly arrangement with the same papa for about six months.
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He always gives me my allowance in cash, handed to me in an envelope, and it’s a substantial amount.
In January, he had to go abroad for work, and because of the quarantine period, we couldn’t meet even once.
I was concerned about the allowance, but I felt awkward bringing it up myself, so I never mentioned it. He didn’t say anything either.
We were finally able to meet in February, but the only allowance I received was for February.
To be honest, missing out on last month’s allowance is a real blow because I have bills to pay. I thought the whole point of a monthly arrangement was that, based on trust, you would receive a set amount even when you couldn’t meet......
We messaged every day while he was overseas, and he even sent me photos from his trip in real time, so we had a good relationship. But every time we exchanged messages, I couldn’t help worrying, “By the way, what’s going to happen with my allowance...?”
Because of his job, he travels abroad frequently, and with restrictions being eased, it seems he’ll continue going overseas from time to time.
Honestly, it would be difficult if my allowance became zero every time he traveled.
When we entered into the monthly arrangement, he told me that he wanted it because he didn’t want me seeing anyone else. But if things continue like this, I feel I may have to maintain arrangements with other papas as well.
My biggest concern, though, is that he might find out if I re-register with Universe.....
If he finds out, ends our relationship, and I lose all of my allowance, that would be the biggest blow of all.
I know my papa’s real name, but I don’t know his club name. (I confirmed the kanji spelling of his real name on his company’s website.)
For those of you who are seeing a papa who travels abroad frequently, especially women in a monthly arrangement or a relationship close to dating, how do you handle your allowance?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Even with a monthly arrangement, some men may think that since you haven’t met even once, no allowance is due.
However, if one of the terms is that you don’t see other men, I think it’s more natural to assume that you’ll still receive an allowance even during months when you can’t meet.
Since there seems to be a misunderstanding between the two of you, I think you should have a proper discussion to confirm the terms.
You could try asking something like:
“I’ve been avoiding seeing other men, so it would be difficult if I didn’t receive an allowance in months when we can’t meet going forward. Is there anything we can do about that?”
However, if the man already feels that it may be time to end things, bringing it up could cause the relationship to end.
In that case, it might be safer to quietly look for another papa. But the fact that you know your papa’s real name but not his club name is a problem.
If you look back through your previous messages with Universe, his club name from when the date was arranged may be listed there.
You could also ask the staff. If it was a recent date, they may be able to identify the man’s club name from the records, and in some cases they may be able to hide his profile using only his real name.
However, if the man has friends at Universe, they might find out that way.
There are also cases where searching by real name doesn’t produce a match, so they can’t hide him. And even if they can’t find a match, they aren’t allowed to tell the woman, so nothing may be done.
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I do have an overseas papa (a male supporter), but it’s not a monthly arrangement… It’s frustrating being at the mercy of the other person’s schedule, isn’t it? And somehow, the papas who are like that tend to message constantly, which is just exhausting.
I feel like they don’t really want to support a woman’s lifestyle. Maybe they only care about themselves. There are quite a few men like that.
I hate getting frustrated by relying too heavily on one papa, so I have several. As long as I treat each of them with plenty of affection, I don’t think there’s a problem.
If you’re thinking of re-registering with Universe, maybe they can hide his profile if you give them his real name. Otherwise, trying another dating club could be an option too.
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I don’t currently have a monthly arrangement either.
Since it’s a monthly arrangement based on an agreement not to see anyone else, I think all you can really do is say, “I’d still appreciate the allowance even if we can’t meet.”
Normally, they should understand that, but there’s always a chance they might end things, so it’s a double-edged sword.
Marika
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If you’re receiving a generous allowance, why not put some of it into savings?
I’m surprised that you’re relying on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to make a living without saving anything, even though you don’t know how long it will last.
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I don’t like that kind of situation, so I generally stick to pay-per-meeting arrangements rather than monthly arrangements. If one of us can’t meet for some reason, I’ll occasionally give an allowance on a temporary basis, calling it a monthly arrangement.
In your case, before you re-register, I think it would be a good idea to tell him that you’ve kept your promise and haven’t been seeing other men, and that it’s been difficult having no allowance while you haven’t been able to meet.
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