I always use date reviews as a reference.

So, what’s your question?

I like letter dating, and I’m good at it. I simply state the allowance upfront. That’s all there is to it. For women, the allowance is the first thing they’re interested in, after all. Trying to get friendly without mentioning the allowance is the mistake. In other words, everyone’s just doing letter dating wrong. The excitement you feel when you receive that first incoming message gives you a different kind of joy and thrill from an ordinary date. If you build a good connection through letter dating, it’s not unusual to become intimate with a Type B woman on the very first date. I’ve even gone straight from the initial meeting spot to a hotel without dinner with a popular high-end girl. Carlos—a papa (a male supporter) who offers a low allowance—uses letter dating to keep setting fees down, right? The girl can vaguely tell from his messages that he’s a Carlos. So even if she agrees to meet, she’s already wary from the start, thinking, “This guy is probably a Carlos.” And when they actually meet, he turns out to be exactly that. No wonder letter dating gets such a bad reputation.

I understand what you mean. I also prefer “letter dating,” but I agree that trying to get to know someone through messages before meeting in person can be difficult. That’s why I usually arrange to meet after just two or three messages. Still, you can get a sense of how quickly they respond, and it’s also easier to discuss and reschedule plans together. There are plenty of advantages. Out of more than ten letter dates I’ve arranged, I’ve only had one person cancel at the last minute, so I’m satisfied with it for now. That said, women who receive a flood of offers do tend to avoid letter dating, don’t they? Since you can probably find a good papa (male supporter) without relying on letter dating, I think it’s perfectly fine to reject anything you’re uncomfortable with.

Yeah, I really agree. I don’t think you can actually become close to someone you don’t know just by emailing them. I won’t deny that some people enjoy that and that it can work for them, but that’s more a matter of personal preference—in the end, it’s a kind of role-play. For most people, meeting in person is the basic premise, and the benefit of communicating beforehand is simply that you can discuss the location, choose a restaurant, get on the same page, and be considerate if you need to reschedule because you get busy. I assume the questioner is a woman who’s frustrated with men asking for “email dates,” but from a man’s perspective, a lot of women also take things in a different direction. They keep their distance and say things like, “Let’s meet once I’ve gotten to know and trust you through our messages.” Then, when you try to move the conversation toward making plans to meet, they seem unhappy about it. You end up being dragged into pointless small talk. Since I’d already come this far, I did manage to arrange a meeting, but by then I’d lost interest, so even when we met, I didn’t enjoy it at all. I don’t think the idea itself is bad, but I do think both men and women need to adjust their expectations as members a little more. Taro