I’m worried about my papa, so I’d like to ask for advice.
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He’s a man in his 50s whom I’ve been seeing about once every two weeks for around three months.
He seems to love drinking. When we go out to eat, he starts with a toast of beer and can easily finish a whole bottle of wine (I have one glass with him).
Even after we go to the hotel room, he drinks the highballs that have been prepared. Once he’s a little tipsy, our adult relationship begins, and afterward (after the first time) he falls asleep beside me, snoring loudly. Calling his name or shaking him only gets a sleepy mumble, so my usual routine has become taking a quiet shower and leaving the room.
Recently, his breathing sometimes stops for about ten seconds, which scares me. His phone also vibrates repeatedly, and when I quietly glance at the screen, it’s usually the same woman’s name (maybe his wife).
After I get home, I send him a LINE message to thank him, but it never shows as read. However, by around lunchtime the next day, he always sends a proper reply like, “Sorry about last night,” and so on. He isn’t a business owner, but he seems to be an executive or someone in an important position.
He’s such a kind, ideal papa that I’m worried about his health. What if something happened while he was with me? Also, even when he’s asleep after things are over, he stays hard, so he might be taking medication.
That makes it even scarier. I’m worried about him dying during intimacy.
I’m also scared of getting a call from the woman who might be his wife.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I don’t think you need to worry too much.
Just remember to call emergency services if anything happens. Like me, once you’re over 50, nothing is really surprising anymore.
Your wife probably won’t be shocked either, so I think you can rest easy. And you certainly don’t need to worry about a lawsuit.
Just don’t forget to contact emergency services first if anything happens.
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OSAS (obstructive sleep apnea syndrome) is not something to take lightly.
I’ve seen data suggesting that moderate-to-severe OSAS has a higher mortality rate than stage III breast cancer.
If left untreated for eight years, the mortality rate was just under 40%, I think.
It can worsen cardiovascular and cerebrovascular disease, and in some cases even cause sudden death.
If luck—or bad luck—isn’t on your side, dying during an intimate encounter isn’t out of the question either.
Based on your question alone, it doesn’t sound like moderate OSAS, but you may be having more breathing pauses during the night, so I think you should get tested.
Is this gasoline too? lol
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There are clinics specifically for sleep apnea syndrome, so you don’t need to worry that much.
Just let him know that he may have sleep apnea while sleeping, mention the phone call, and tell him about the fact that he was getting an erection（笑）. Then encourage him to see a doctor.
You’re very kind. What a good girl.
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Explain the situation to him and tell your papa (a male supporter) what you’re worried about.
I get the feeling that he may already know about the symptoms and the phone calls himself.
If his response puts your mind at ease, you can continue. If it still makes you uneasy, I think it’s perfectly fine to end things.
Seeing someone with sleep apnea can certainly be worrying. I understand how you feel.
People who black out from drinking tend to do it fairly often, so there’s a possibility that his wife is always worried about him too.
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A lot of people in their 50s who are somewhat overweight start snoring and experiencing sleep apnea after drinking alcohol.
You won’t die from about 10 seconds of it, so it’s probably fine.
It’s not healthy in the long run, though.
Calls from women are scarier, though.
Marika
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As the other respondents have already mentioned, it’s fairly common for middle-aged and older men to stop breathing while they’re asleep, so I don’t think you need to worry too much.
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It seems quite common for people to stop breathing in their sleep.
In most cases, their wives notice it and they find out after getting checked at a hospital. It doesn’t seem to be related to drinking, having sex, or taking medication for erections.
So, what you should do is tell your papa (a male supporter) that his breathing stops for about 10 seconds while he’s asleep and that he should get checked out at a hospital.
It may be difficult to go to the hospital with COVID still going around, but the person sleeping won’t notice it themselves, so someone has to tell them.
As for calls from the woman, I think it’s best to pretend you didn’t notice them.
I’m not sure what exactly you mean by being scared, but if you’re genuinely afraid, ending things becomes one possible option.
It might be best to clarify exactly what you’re afraid of and then decide how to deal with it.
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Occasionally stopping breathing may be a condition called sleep apnea. If I remember correctly, breathing that stops for 10 seconds or more is considered apnea.
Apparently, it happens because the airway becomes blocked during sleep, often due to obesity or similar factors. I know a few people who have it, and some of them even had surgery.
It can be difficult to notice on your own, so it might be a good idea to let him know.
As for the call from the woman, why not mention in passing, “I often hear your phone ringing while you’re asleep, and I’m worried—is that okay?”
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