It bothers me when he says things like, “Here’s your rent money,” when giving me my allowance.
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The other day, I mentioned that I was going on a trip with friends next week, and he said, “Here’s some spending money for your trip,” but it was the usual allowance (¥50,000 per meeting).
He acts as if he’s giving me extra pocket money, but isn’t an allowance simply compensation for intimacy or dinner with an older man?
Do men genuinely feel like they’re giving us spending money?
Am I crazy for being bothered by something like this?
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I get it—I need to be more careful, haha.
I’ve caught myself saying things like:
“Use this to buy some clothes you like.”
I’ll be more mindful.
Though unlike the person asking the question, my monthly arrangement partner says, “Thank you, I’ll put it to good use,” so maybe it’s okay...
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here. I’ll answer too.
I think it’s just wordplay, so you might as well play along.
If he says, “It’s for your rent,” you could respond with something like:
“Yay! Now I can pay my rent. Thank you!”
It might seem strange because you think of him as older than you and wonder, “What are you even talking about?” But if you think of him as a child, you may feel more inclined to go along with it.
Men are children. Keep telling yourself that, and enjoy your dates.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
You’d have to be crazy to get hung up over something like that.
It’s simply that when men give an allowance, they want to attach some kind of excuse or label to it.
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My favorite girl sometimes says, “You don’t need to give me any spending money today,” so I guess her outlook is completely different from yours.
We don’t even use the word “allowance” or exchange it…
—Paper Airplane—
> “This is some spending money for your trip.”
If you hand it over like that, it wouldn’t really count as a parting gift unless you gave it separately from her allowance.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I get the feeling that sex work may be a better fit for you than papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Most men who do papa-katsu are the kind who “don’t want to think” they’re paying for access to a woman’s body, as they would in the sex industry.
If you’re uncomfortable dealing with that type of man, I think you might actually thrive more working in the sex industry.
There’s a sex-work establishment in Gotanda called Dead Bo○ that apparently has a 24-year-old ace who’s fully booked, even though she’s just an ordinary girl. Even an ordinary woman can earn well if that line of work suits her.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That’s true, but you need to present it in a way that feels different. Dating clubs are all about creating the illusion of reality—even when it’s staged.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think the allowance in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is payment for providing sex or companionship over a meal. If it were payment for sex, that would mean the person asking the question was engaging in prostitution.
That said, I don’t think of it as simply giving someone spending money, either. An allowance is an allowance.
I think the reason you feel conflicted is that you see yourself as engaging in prostitution.
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