I’m Dai, a male member.
I’m not sure what you mean by “a lot has happened,” but if you’ve decided to end things, I think you should.
You may still have feelings for her, but you’re clearly not someone who can bring yourself to let her go.
This is Nana Ayase ♡
It’s kind of a gray area, but if you’re getting an allowance, wouldn’t it be okay to just let things continue as they are? If you end it abruptly, there’s a chance you may stop receiving offers.
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
I totally get what Taro means by the “gray zone.”
I have some former affair partners and exes who still come to me when they need a convenient favor. I’m their “fill-in-the-gap guy,” there to cover those occasional requests.
It’s maybe once a year, if that, but we can have a genuinely human relationship, so it’s an enjoyable arrangement in its own way.
There’s a woman I’ve been thinking I should probably part ways with after everything that’s happened. She’s looked after me for a long time, though, so even though I feel it’s about time to end things, I just can’t bring myself to bring it up.
So, I’ve decided not to end things after all.
Paper Airplane
Well, if you still think she’s better than the others, then you don’t have to break up.
I’m Taro, a male member.
I think I understand, more or less. I also had a woman who played the role of a super-sub while I was without a primary partner for a long time. I’m grateful to her, but it’s gone on for quite a while now, and no matter how long it continues, she’ll never become my primary partner. So I sometimes think it might be better to end things soon, yet somehow it just drags on. Some women see through a man’s hesitation and walk away, while others continue on, somehow becoming like white dwarfs.
In the end, I think you have to decide for yourself. Simply put, it’s a matter of weighing the “various circumstances” against the fact that you’ve “grown attached.” Once the balance tips far enough, maybe you should just stop meeting. That doesn’t mean you have to formally say goodbye, either. You can simply stop meeting by coming up with one reason or another. Some people will drift away, while others will remain.
A long time ago, there was a woman I wanted to make my primary partner. But she probably didn’t feel quite as strongly, though she seemed to care about me, and she would suddenly contact me after six months or so. We stayed in touch, neither too close nor too distant, for nearly ten years. During that time, she got married and divorced, was deeply hurt and even considered suicide, and later suffered a serious illness that cost her an important organ. Whenever she turned to me, I encouraged her, and there were times when she thanked me. But I never consistently became one of the most important people in her life. Eventually, ours became a relationship without even an allowance, and we met only once a year or once every few years. Maybe she was simply using me when it suited her, but I liked her and enjoyed our time together, so I look back on it as a good memory.
What I’m trying to say is that you don’t necessarily have to draw a clear line between “continuing” and “saying goodbye.” I think it’s okay to value the gray area a little more.
