When a papa (a male supporter) who’s old enough to be my parent—at least 30 years older—asks about my hobbies and interests, should I tailor my answers to his generation? I’m 20. Papas often ask what my hobbies are or what kind of music I like, but I’m not sure whether I should answer honestly. My hobby is playing Splatoon on the Switch. Whenever I mention it, about 60% of papas say, “My child plays games too, blah blah…” I guess they don’t play themselves, so they can only keep the conversation going by bringing up their children.
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When I’m asked what music I like, I say K-pop (not groups as mainstream as BTS, but NCT, for example—do you all know them?) and reggae. For reggae, I like artists such as Chanmina and Hentai Shinshi Club. These songs are also played at clubs and apparently come up often on TikTok, so I think most people in their teens to early twenties who aren’t out of touch with trends would know them. However, I’m pretty sure 99% of papas have never heard of them. Papas also play mainstream songs popular with young people, like YOASOBI and Aimyon, in the car, so I assume they want to know what’s trending among younger people. That’s why I don’t think I need to go out of my way to say I like Yumi Matsutoya or Southern All Stars. But would it be better to mention singers from their generation whose music I don’t particularly like but can at least recognize, rather than naming songs they’ve never heard of? I know YOASOBI and Kenshi Yonezu and can sing along just fine, but it’s not like I especially like them…
Do you all tell papas the truth about your hobbies and tastes? Or do you adjust your answers so they’ll understand?
I’m Dai, a male member.
People in their 40s play video games quite normally.
I always carry my Switch in my bag, and the other day, the woman I’m seeing told me she has the same Switch.
It’s nice when you share the same hobbies and interests, but don’t you ever hear about something you weren’t interested in before and suddenly become interested in it?
I get the impression that women tend to pick up the hobbies of men they like. (That was the case with my ex-wife…)
When men hear about a woman’s hobbies, I feel like they often don’t really care and are just making conversation. (That’s how I am, anyway…)
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Questioner, it sounds like you’re annoyed that your papa feels no guilt about the generation gap.
I can understand where you’re coming from, but if he doesn’t put down your interests, isn’t that good enough?
My ex-boyfriend, for example, was only around 30, but he had incredibly old-fashioned tastes. He listened almost exclusively to nostalgic ’90s songs and completely dismissed my favorites, like Chanmina and Korean hip-hop, saying the melodies weren’t beautiful.
What was that about? I never criticized his tastes. I started thinking that half-baked older guys might actually be the worst. My papa knows way more about music.
By the way, I like the Korean rapper pH-1. Also, is Chanmina reggae? Isn’t she more straight-up hip-hop? If we’re talking reggae, I like 775.
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When they’re in their 30s or 40s and their children are still young, they often have gaps in their knowledge of youth culture. Once they’re 50 or older and their kids are in high school, though, they tend to know quite a bit.
And if he’s asking, I think it’s fine to just tell him. You don’t have to bring up anything so niche that even people your age might find it off-putting, though.
Once you’ve shared something about yourself, that’s where the real conversation begins.
If your papa (a male supporter) says he doesn’t know it, don’t just say, “See? That’s why I don’t like old men.”
Try asking, “What kind of things do you like, Papa?” If he knows it, he’ll react in his own way; if he doesn’t, he’ll react accordingly. And if he doesn’t know, you could always listen to it together.
Apparently, Showa retro is popular among younger people these days, too.
This is just basic conversational give-and-take, but you should be able to have a proper conversation with an older man without needing to be told things like this.
—Marika
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
I think it’s better to be honest.
Even if you don’t know much about it, they’ll understand whether it’s something popular right now—or, even if it isn’t, that it’s something you personally like.
They might appreciate knowing. Maybe they’ll even listen to that kind of music later to see whether it suits them, or try playing the games themselves.
Some people enjoy thinking about all sorts of things, like learning about things they don’t know or discovering unfamiliar worlds.
Everyone’s different.
Personally, I think it’s better when a woman answers honestly.
That said, naturally, the conversation may start to lag. So it might be considerate to keep things flowing by saying something like, “I know a little about older stuff too.”
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