I’m the person whose relationship ended because of a surprise gift.
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Thank you all for your responses to my previous question.
He was quite a difficult person, but he also had many good qualities, and I felt he had treated me well. I had been feeling sorry that things ended because I gave him a surprise gift.
Here’s how things came to an end:
He asked me what I wanted in return, so I told him that I hadn’t given him the gift expecting anything back, that I enjoyed choosing it while thinking about him, and that I was truly grateful for everything he had always done for me. Even so, he insisted on giving me something in return, so I said that I liked poinsettias, but there were many different kinds, and that I would like one he chose himself. That was when he started making fun of me.
In our messages afterward, he said, “There has to be something else. This is your last chance.”
I apologized and told him, “I’m sorry, but that really wasn’t my intention, so I can’t think of anything right away.” He then replied, “Goodbye.”
Your opinions helped me realize where I could have handled things better as well. Thank you!
This may end up being hidden, but I wanted to thank you all. Sorry for cluttering the site.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer, too.
> During the exchange afterward, he said, “There has to be something else you want. This is your last chance.”
If you already knew he was particular and wanted to continue seeing him, then when he said it was your last chance, I think it would have been good to stay flexible enough to say something like:
“I’d like a car.”
Even if it wasn’t something you particularly wanted.
You might get told that’s too expensive next time, but since a poinsettia was too cheap and a car is too expensive, you can probably gradually work your way toward the amount he has in mind.
If the exchange goes on for a while, I think it would be fine to ask, “What kind of budget did you have in mind?”
Even if it’s better not to ask other men that, I have a feeling this particular man would answer normally.
There are all kinds of people, so it might be a good idea to learn to communicate flexibly.
> He replied, “Goodbye.”
Huh?
It’s not over yet.
Maybe, but it still feels like you can continue the conversation.
You could try sending something like:
“I’m sorry. I really do like poinsettias, but I’d like a bag as a present. (Something else is fine too—just something tangible and reasonably valuable.)”
You’ve got nothing to lose.
Send it anyway, and if he replies that it’s too late, just say:
“Understood.”
That should be fine.
Not yet—it’s not over yet.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
One of the interesting things about dating clubs is that you never know what might happen.
Even when things end, the next opportunity usually comes along fairly soon, so try to move on and look ahead.
As I wrote in one of my columns, I once gave a woman a present, only to have her parents confront me because she lived with them. (Though I suppose she could have been more honest with me too.) We ended up not being able to see each other anymore.
We’d been seeing each other for about a year, and she was exactly my type. I gave her the gift as a token of my appreciation, but it ended up bringing our relationship to an end.
Since then, I’ve made sure to think carefully about the other person’s circumstances and choose experiences rather than physical gifts.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
You should become a more savvy, street-smart woman. I hear there are some truly awful women out there, too. I’m sure you’ll find someone wonderful.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Life throws all kinds of things at us. Even when you think something is perfectly fine, some people will like it and others won’t.
A fresh start!
Let’s move forward!
Let’s keep doing our best...
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