“Pay-per-meeting” usually refers to an adult relationship, but with the woman I see regularly, we haven’t discussed or set an allowance amount.
When we meet, regardless of whether it becomes an adult relationship, I give her 10,000–20,000 yen—it’s essentially dinner only (no intimacy). Sometimes, if it’s a long day, we spend more than half a day together without anything intimate. The amount doesn’t change.
If things do progress to an adult relationship that day, I give her an additional 10,000–20,000 yen. So altogether, it works out to the equivalent of around 30,000–50,000 yen per meeting.
Paper Airplane
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I’m Dai, a male member.
You do understand that getting a ¥50,000 pay-per-meeting allowance just for dinner is quite rare, right?
Put another way, it’s similar to being told “¥50,000 for an adult relationship” and then actually receiving only ¥5,000.
For dinner only, the generally accepted range is ¥10,000–¥20,000.
In my case, once I meet someone for an adult relationship, dinner-only dates tend to become rare after the second meeting.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
“Pay-per-meeting” means with an adult relationship (intimate).
Even without intimacy, I’ll meet a woman if I genuinely like her. I don’t want to meet unless she likes me too, so basically there’s no allowance. Of course, we discuss that beforehand and only meet once we’ve agreed. It’s a kind of confession time. Sometimes, when I’m personally confident about how she feels, I deliberately don’t bring it up, meet her, and finish without giving her an allowance. Whether she’ll meet me again, or say she wants to see me even without intimacy—that’s another test. It’s nerve-racking.
There have been times when I paid to meet someone because I wanted to make my unrequited love fall for me, but it ultimately didn’t work out. I learned that money can’t make up for everything. There are so many wonderful women out there, so if there’s no chance, I think it’s better to move on quickly.
By the way, I’ve been continuously seeing four or fewer women for a long time. Some of them receive much higher offers from other men, and sometimes we’ve even had that whole conversation. Even so, I feel their choosing to see me is infinitely valuable. I know that one insensitive move could make them cut me off instantly, but that’s something I’ve learned would be my own fault. I think that kind of tension is important.
I think talking about “going rates” is ridiculous. When there’s another person involved, every relationship has its own individual story.
Sorry, it doesn’t sound like the questioner is looking for that kind of arrangement, so this may be a different category altogether. This answer is a message for the male members reading this board who share the same outlook.
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I’m a male member, and definitely on the losing end.
For the women I have a monthly arrangement with, the allowance is the same for adult dates and dinner dates.
For those I see on a pay-per-meeting basis, it’s 10+ for an adult relationship and 3–10 for dinner only.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I assume you’re referring to the allowance for days when you go to a hotel. In my case, I don’t refuse to meet just because there’s no adult relationship (intimacy).
I’m currently seeing only a papa (a male supporter) on a monthly arrangement, but that’s how I felt when I was doing pay-per-meeting arrangements.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That’s right—the amount for an adult relationship. I rarely go on dates without one.
But every once in a while, I’ll give 10 just for dinner. I intentionally make it dinner only to make the 10 look more generous.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this too.
> When there’s an adult relationship, I get 50,000–100,000 yen, and when there isn’t, I get 10,000–20,000 yen.
I think that’s generally about average.
It’s not necessarily that they won’t meet you when there’s no adult relationship. Women can usually tell whether a man would prefer an adult relationship or not, so I feel that, as a result, there may be more men who don’t expect one.
That said, it really depends on the person. I imagine some people have arrangements where the meetings alternate between including an adult relationship and not.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
As a general rule, it depends on the context. In my case, I only continue seeing women who are open to an adult relationship (intimate).
When I meet someone who’s open to an adult relationship but we’re not planning to have one that day—for example, if she asks me to meet up for coffee or a meal—there’s no allowance.
If we meet intending to have an adult relationship but ultimately don’t have sex, I pay the same as I would on a day when we do.
Actually, I always give the allowance upfront, so I never ask for it back. Occasionally, a woman will return it when we part, saying, “Since we didn’t do anything today.”
I assume that on days she returns it, she has some extra money in her wallet, and on days she doesn’t, she doesn’t.
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