The papa (male supporter) who drives me home every time keeps kissing me passionately in the car.
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Even when I tell him I’m going home by train, he insists on driving me.
I honestly want him to stop passionately kissing me in the car right before I get out, so if I tell him I’ll be taking the train from now on, he’ll assume I don’t like kissing him, won’t he…
What should I do? (;_;)
Also, I haven’t told him my real address, so I always have him drop me off in front of an apartment building a little way from my actual home. But lately he’s been looking closely at every part of the building and saying things like, “This is a two-story building with the first and second floors connected, right? How do you get into the room upstairs? Is this really your place?” He’s starting to suspect that it isn’t my real home.
At this point, should I be honest and say, “This isn’t actually my home,” or should I continue pretending it is and say, “I said it was a room on the second floor, but it’s actually a detached-style apartment”? I’m not even sure how to explain it…
How should I deal with this papa (male supporter) who wants to know everything about me?
You should probably break things off, if you can…
Normally, passionate goodbye kisses gradually stop. After all, you become sufficiently intimate through an adult relationship (intimate).
At first, it’s basic etiquette for both people to get dropped off a little before home or near a different house. If he mistakes the house even though you haven’t become that close yet, it’s already over. There’s no need for him to assume anything until the woman tells him herself. That man has apparently never had a woman clearly tell him—or invite him into her room.
Paper Airplane
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
He drove me home,
and we had a passionate kiss.
If you didn’t like it, you shouldn’t have accepted it in the first place.
That will make him think it’s something he can do,
and get his hopes up that you’ll want to do it again next time.
If you really don’t want that, I suppose you should end things.
You could also say you’re prepared to part ways and that you’ll take the train home.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
That sounds really tough… If you truly can’t stand him, keep turning him down by saying things like, “I’m meeting up with a friend after this,” and hint that you have a boyfriend. If he tries to kiss you, crouch down and say, “I’m sorry, my stomach hurts…” Do whatever it takes to make it clear that you don’t want anything to happen.
In my case, I can’t continue seeing someone I’m instinctively uncomfortable with. But if you’re doing this for the money, I think all you can do is keep dodging him as best you can. Also, never tell him your real address. If you do share an address, lie and say you moved to a place one train stop away, research that apartment building thoroughly, have him drop you off there from now on, and then take the train home.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it’s better to tell someone when something makes you uncomfortable. That said, saying “That makes me uncomfortable” outright from the beginning can come across as an overly harsh rejection. It’s probably better to start with a softer refusal, such as “I’m not really comfortable with that” or “I’ll tell you once we’ve gotten to know each other better.”
However, you’ve already acted as though you were willing to accept it and even told him a pretty poor lie. Given the situation, it will be extremely difficult to steer things toward the kind of relationship you want.
As for dealing with a man you’ve already given the impression of accepting this from, I think the best option is to fade out smoothly. He sounds like a somewhat troublesome man, so he may suddenly change once you start rejecting him. All I can do is hope that the apartment address you gave him is a fair distance from your actual home.
I think this was an opportunity for you to learn that you need to handle approaches from creepy men who want to know where you live skillfully.
Next time, instead of telling a bad lie just to get through the moment, I hope you’ll be able to make it clear that you’re uncomfortable while still deflecting the situation smoothly.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
If you tell him you’re going home by train, he may think you’re not that interested in him, but I don’t think he’ll necessarily assume it’s because of the kiss.
Well, the fact that you don’t know for sure is exactly why you do it every time, right?
So you could be pretty assertive and say something like:
“My friend saw me being driven home by car the other day, so from now on I’m absolutely taking the train home. No exceptions.”
> Should I be honest and say, “Actually, this isn’t where I live”?
I don’t think you need to say that, but lying isn’t a good idea either, so I wouldn’t tell him that this is your home. You can avoid addressing the main point and simply ask him to let you out somewhere else.
Since you’ll be taking the train home from now on, I think you should be fine.
That said, he might wait for you at the place where he usually drops you off. If your real home is nearby, you should probably be careful not to be seen there by chance.
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